I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
