We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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