he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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