While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
