I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm having to shit out rocks
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
