I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
