Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
