I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize