'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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