if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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