I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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