I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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