He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
