i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
