dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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