I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize