Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
