I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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