The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
