why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
