is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
