ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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