What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
