As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
