I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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