that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
accomplished twins. life is a go
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
