so explain again why im purple
no
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
