come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to sanitize my soul.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
