U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
