oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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