As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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