addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
