Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
