I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
