He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
