i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
