Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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