I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
