fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
