So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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