When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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