Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
