the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
