Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
