you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
