i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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