my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
