so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
