i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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