Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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