He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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