I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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