After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
