yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
