fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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