My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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