Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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