So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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