I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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