I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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