Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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